Today the first flakes of snow have fallen and, as is true
to form, I’ve been bouncing around like an idiot as a result. Humming Christmas
songs, lighting candles…
But just now, as I sat watching the snow dancing in the light
from the street lights I started to cry.
There was something about their calm, unhurried motion that
made me think of my Dad. I’m not saying he was like a snowflake, although he
was definitely unique and was the calmest man I ever knew, but knowing the snow
is falling means Christmas is coming and the thought of Christmas without him…
Every so often the wind drops and the flakes seem to pause
in flight, hovering before the next breath pushes them onwards and I think that’s
what it’s like when you’ve lost someone. For most of the time you’re carrying
on, swirling around as life pushes you on and then there are those moments when
the breeze dies down and the world fades away and you remember what’s happened,
you feel the loss so much for a second or two. You have to pause.
It happened yesterday too. A friend who hadn’t seen me since
my father passed away came to hug me and for a second, in the middle of my work
day, I honestly thought I was going to break down.
People ask how you are and you reply the way you think you
should. “I’m alright.” “I’m not too bad.”
And you’re not lying when you say those things, because you
are doing as alright as anyone can and you’re not as bad as you might have
been. But there are times when you’re far from alright, times when the memories
rush over you and all you can do is give in for a moment.
This week many people have been pausing. Having their two
minute silences for fallen soldiers, remembering the sacrifice so many made
before we were even born to ensure peace and justice prevailed and those who
continue to fight far from their homes, fighting for and protecting people they
may never meet.
I know this Christmas will be hard for my family and I. There’ll
be plenty of laughter I know which is just as it should be – especially with
small children in the house - but I know when we have our quiet times over the
holidays, when the wind drops and we have time to pause…it’ll be the
Christmases gone by that we’ll remember and for those brief moments at least,
my Dad will be with us again.
It’s something I think we should do more of. Taking a little
time out of our busy days to just sit and think. Not just of lost loved ones,
but of happier times, friends we no longer see or the places we once called
home. Take a little time and maybe send someone a message or, even better, a
card or letter. Something real, something they can hold and know it came from
you and that you took the time to write it and send it.
I’m waiting for our family Christmas cards to come back from
the printers and I can’t wait to get them and send them out. I have to admit,
there’s nothing like coming home on a snowy night and finding a letterbox full
of envelopes from family and friends at Christmas time. I know saving the planet
is important and everyone wants to make the smallest carbon footprint and all
that jazz but…Christmas emails? Really?
I have a box upstairs full of Christmas cards and birthday
cards, not every single one we’ve ever been sent but a selection that matter to
me. Cards from people no longer with us, the girls’ first birthday cards, their
first cards to us. I have to admit the Christmas emails and text messages aren’t
treasured in the same way and I don’t think they ever will be.
So please, take the time to send some Christmas cards this
year. You’ll make more people smile than you realise when your card arrives.
Give your friends and family something they can put up in their home, not
something that’s gone the moment they close the laptop or lock their phone.
If you’re really that worried about the planet, buy recycled
cards or make your own from old ones…that’s a really personal card right there!
And if you’re wanting to send a card of you and your family,
have I mentioned how much I love shooting Christmas themed shoots? Elf hats,
candles, fairy lights, gingerbread houses…it’s awesome!
If you haven’t sorted out your cards yet for this year, or
if you’d like to make a special photo gift for Grandma and so on, get in touch
and we can try to arrange a session for you and your family!
Have I ever heard how much you love Christmas..? Um, well.... I can recall a time or two (or a hundred...) 😉😘
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